Mom is Always Right!
No Comments »At the onset of adolescence, almost every girl experiences a phase in which she identifies her mother as public enemy #1. For some, this never really remedies itself.
There are numerous books written by psychologists, dissecting the circumstances of mother-daughter conflicts and providing advice on how to cope, but it seems to me all of this is largely brought on by the dominant systems of female competition that are forced on us as we begin to mature. The pressure for girls to act, interact and appear a certain way becomes increasingly apparent as girls enter adolescence. Such expectations lead girls to judge themselves and others according to the popular standards of femininity presented to them in pop culture, advertising, and even the gendered nature of our everyday interactions. To be quite frank, there is no way for parents to shelter their daughters from these effects.
Not unlike many other girls, I had a fairly strained relationship with my mother growing up. We argued about almost everything. Yet, what I didn’t realize at the time was that we ultimately wanted the same thing; she wanted “more” for me than what she had wanted for herself and I didn’t want to become her. Despite the fact that we were more in sync with one another than we would have thought, our communication was built primarily on resentment (from my end) and overprotection (from hers). Not a good mix.
I didn’t want to believe that her perspective of the world was in any way valid. She cautioned me about boys, going to parties, and drinking. I didn’t listen and I did find myself in many situations of which, in retrospect, I probably could have avoided entirely. When I brought a new friend home, she would always tell me if she didn’t like them. I would disregard her observations, yet it was usually only a matter of time before her “intuitions” about that person surfaced and quite honestly, blew up in my face. I would never admit to her that she was right, however these incidents were often proceeded with an ever-so-subtle “I told you so” glance, as I would reluctantly share with her the less dramatic version of the story.
As I near an age and maturity of which I am considering parenthood myself, I can’t help but wonder how I would be with a daughter. What would I do differently than my own mother? And what would I do the same? Undoubtedly, there are many unhealthy aspects to the mother-daughter relationship breakdowns that so often occur within families, but there may be something to be gained from them as well? Perhaps, girls need to rebel (to some degree) from their parents, and in particular from their mothers, so that they can begin to assert their independence, make mistakes and begin to carve out their own identities. Maybe, the only thing parents can do is work hard to foster their daughter’s independence from as young an age as possible. Assumably, this nurtured independence provides a type of defense when girls do begin to push away and pursue a life of which, lets face it, parents have little control over, no matter what their strategy of discipline, lecturing or incarceration may be. Putting a girl on “lockdown” will only succeed in promoting naivety and submission. Thus, providing girls with the tools to be independent is probably a more promising approach than trying to protect them from all the dangers and challenges they may face.
Looking back on it now, my mother did an amazing job of nourishing my independence and free will; and almost too good of a job in some respects. I was stubborn and argumentative as a teenager (Luckily, as an adult, this is more pleasantly framed as determination and passion). While these traits were no doubt excruciatingly frustrating to my parents, they were also a blessing in disguise. Not only was I a teenage girl that was able to stand up for myself in circumstances that warranted it and in the face of many different peer pressures, but this independence also propelled me onto a path of self-discovery that has consequentially, enabled me to build trust in myself as well as, in my mother. Because, as the track record shows, she is always right, only now, I am more apt to listen.
Filed under: Boyfriends, Female Relationships, Feminine Power, Gender Roles
When all else fails…Blame the Feminists!
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Recently, at a United Nations Conference on the Status of Women, sponsored by Girl Scouts USA, Planned Parenthood pamphlets were distributed to adolescent girls in attendance. The result?… public denouncement of the entire Girl Scout organization, and coincidentally, Feminism as well. “Concerned parents” everywhere are outraged that such material would be given to their girls without their permission. News media and blogosphere alike have provided snippets of quotes, albeit out of context, from the said pamphlet:
“Many people think sex is just about vaginal or anal intercourse. But there are lots of different ways to have sex and lots of different types of sex. Sex can include kissing, touching, licking, tickling, sucking and cuddling. Some people like to have aggressive sex, while others like to have soft sex and slow sex with their partners. There is no right or wrong way to have sex. Just have fun, explore and be yourself!”
Some of the headlines read “Oh Great! Now the Girl Scouts are Teaching Adolescent Girls how to have Hot Sex” (lonelyconservative.com) or Latest Progressive Abomination: Sex Manuals for Girl Scouts (americanreformationmovement.blogspot.com).
One parent, Wes Widner responds;
“Thanks for the link and quotes from this article. My wife asked me this morning whether we wanted to enroll our daughter for the Girl Scouts and I mentioned reading this story (from another source) to her. Sad too, because I really want to find a good girls organization that WON’T teach my daughter to be a whore, err, “liberated woman”. Oh well, guess I’ll have to settle for sending her to a convent 
”
Yes, oppress girls more…that’ll help them!
We live in a highly sexualized culture and unfortunately, girls are at greatest risk of experiencing sexual exploitation. Sure, the reality of this has got to be pretty scary for parents with daughters but the appropriate course of action is neither hiding girls away from the world nor denying them their own sexual expression and discovery.
The problem is, we believe girls to be innocent and thus, we struggle to preserve this quality. We want them to be pure, untainted and virginal for as long as possible. Yet, we do not set the same standards for boys. In our society, the majority of the sex we see and tolerate is that which appeals to heterosexual men and thus, the associated images and information produced is indicative of male desires.
Somehow, the sexualization of consumer and pop culture has been misconstrued as something inherently feminist and that promiscuity and eroticism symbolize women’s liberation! Girls have learned that aspiring to becoming sexy can give them a sense of power. And not only that, engaging in sexual act like giving a boy a blow job is big collateral in girl world. Parents have to realize that they cannot combat these sexual power imbalances by keeping tight lipped about sex. The don’t ask-don’t tell philosophy just doesn’t cut it!
Being that my own adolescence wasn’t all that long ago, I can guarantee that there are still plenty of teens feeling each other up in the back of their parents’ Toyota Camry. Teens today are soliciting each other sexually and their experimentation and curiosity will only increase as they get older. This is a reality that adults are hard-pressed to mediate or control.
However, the more information we provide to girls about sex, the better equip they will be to make healthy choices for themselves. After all, girls only remain “girls” for a relatively short time and therefore, it is pertinent that we do our best to ensure that they transition into womanhood with a strong foundation from which to explore their own bodies and sexuality.
Planned Parenthood is an organization aimed at educating different groups about various aspects of their sexual health, yet, I suspect that this mandate of “education” is lost on overprotective parents who cannot see passed their own fears. Frankly, this pamphlet is better articulating and in some cases, combating the stereotypical messages that girls receive from the culture around them. There is nothing perverse about its content.
Seeing people get up in arms about this pamphlet or similar cases, merely illustrates their denial of the sexual climate we all live in and the extent to which girls are already exposed to it before they even begin any sort of “sexual education” in school.
In retaliation of Wes Wildner’s comment, the very necessity of a “whore” is in direct opposition with feminism and the liberation of woman. The oversexualization of the feminine body is not an outcome of feminism but rather the lingering remnants of our patriarchal history. A history that conservative parenting groups seem to want to preserve in their preoccupation with “good girl” ideals.
Feminism aims to give women and girls choices, beyond “submissiveness” and “compliance”. Groups like Planned Parenthood align themselves well to such ethos. In communicating openly to girls about sex and sexuality, we are nurturing further inquiry, self-awareness, agency and self-expression. Telling girls to have fun, explore and be themselves should not be misconstrued as encouraging them to have sex. It is essential to recognize that the above excerpt was chosen to build a case against the pamphlet and the organizations who endorse it. Even from this small excerpt, it is clear to me that there is no hidden agenda for transforming “sweet little girl scouts” into “whores”. It seems to me, the objective here is quite simple; speak to girls as people and position them as active subjects in the development of their own sexuality. Surely, this is better than allowing the blatant sexual objectification of women in pop culture be their guide?!
Filed under: Feminine Power, Girl Culture, Pop Culture, Sex & Body
Girl World
No Comments »This about sums up how most adults (and men especially) feel about “girl world”. But what is so abhorrent about girl world anyways?!
Filed under: Girl Culture
Roller Derby: A sport of her own
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After seeing the movie, “Whip It”, directed by Drew Barrymore, written by Shauna Cross and starring, Ellen Page, I have decided that roller-derby may just be the perfect activity for teenage girls (as well as women) to escape the oppressive confines of beauty pageants, boyfriends, and shopping malls; not to mention let out some pent up frustration and engage in some female camaraderie. For those not familiar with roller derby, let me explain the basic premise of the game. Players lap around an oval track on roller skates, trying to score points by passing members of the opposing team. Each team has five players on the track, one jammer (who scores), three blockers (defense) and one pivot (defense/alternate jammer). It is an international, contact sport, predominantly played by women, as it has a strong punk style and third-wave feminist following. Obviously, the benefit of roller derby is its female-orientation and its “girl power” ora, but the sport itself is also pretty intriguing as it injects some raw attitude into a seemingly, child-like activity such as roller-skating. Probably the thing I like about it the most though, is that it does seem to offer girls and women “a sport of their own”, so to speak. While its fabulous that more girls and women are involved in mainstream sports, such as hockey, I can’t help but feel that their athletic performance is always being compared to their male counterparts, because such sports were created with men in mind, not women.
Don’t get my wrong, I’m not arguing that girls and women shouldn’t play sports that have been traditionally dominated by men, such as hockey, but what I am saying is that it is difficult to breakdown gendered stereotypes; especially when we have grown accustom to the “male model” of athleticism. The fact of the matter is that female and male athletes are different, however, our tendency is to focus on women’s limited strength and endurance in comparison to men. While men and women will inevitably offer something different in their respective leagues, this should not mean that men’s sport is more legitimate or superior, yet, the lack of professional avenues for female athletes does reflect this “boys do it better” ideology.
Sadly, schools and recreation facilities are preoccupied with the notion of being “gender neutral” in their program and sport offerings. Maybe the assumption is that in order to provide girl-specific activities, they would have to take away from the boys; when really, this isn’t a matter of pitting girls against boys. However, if we are going to play the tit-for-tat game, for a minute, let me just recall the ways in which we have neglected girls in the past. Historically, boys and men participated in recreational events, especially sports, while girls were the ones wearing their boyfriends’ letter jackets or leading cheers on the sidelines – oh… but wait, we still do that don’t we!?
Why are we so resistant to giving girls something of their own? Something that perhaps boys don’t have. Instead, we have merely succeeded in tacking girls onto boys’ activities as a means of being “gender-neutral”. When did it become unacceptable for boys to have their own clubs anyways? If anything, this should provide precedent for girls to have their own? Admittedly, this was no doubt the rationale for “Girl Guides”, however, it’s not entirely surprisingly that girls wanted in on “Boy Scouts” when they were stuck selling cookies and learning how to be proper ladies, instead of learning to canoe or build a campfire. Indeed, its obvious why boys are not banging down any doors to get into girl guides. Unfortunately, this is a common theme with girl programs and activities, the aim is often teaching girls the ways of domestication and proper feminine etiquette, rather than engaging their creativity, imagination, individuality and of course, their confidence.
Clearly, we are afraid that by investing in girls, we are somehow neglecting boys. However, the solution is neither taking from boys nor implementing an “add girls and stir” recipe. After all, there is no “one size fits all” program and recreation guide for children and adolescents. Of course, there are co-ed or unisex activities of which boys and girls will want to participate but generally speaking, their needs are different. The key is “gender-specific” activities that recognize girls and boys’ unique needs and the best ways to facilitate positive development in both sexes. Indeed, it is difficult to deny that girls have been at at disadvantage in this regard.
Certainly, sport is not something of interest to all girls, but roller derby is at least an alternative to the traditional, and albeit, male-dominated sport options. Frankly, girls should be exposed to more female-oriented activities that encourage them to assert themselves and invest in more than just their looks and cute boys. We have a tendency of underestimating what girls can do, especially when it comes to their physical capabilities, and thus, we limit them to activities that will not threaten their supposed, delicate state. This is of course is reflected in the common insult that someone throws “like a girl”. But make no mistake, give girls the opportunity to showcase their unique abilities and talents and they will most certainly surprise even their biggest skeptics, themselves.
Filed under: Female Violence & Aggression, Feminine Power, Sport
Who wears short shorts?
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In my conversations with adolescent girls and to my recollection, a girl’s worth is largely centred around appearance and the consumption of products that enable girls to look their best; cosmetics, accessories and clothing.
When I was a girl, hand-me-downs and second-hand clothing made up my wardrobe, being that my family didn’t have a lot of money. Even if we had had more money, we lived in a very rural area in which shopping was extremely limited. Fortunately, being thrifty was considered an asset at that time. It was just at the end of the grunge movement so it was perfectly acceptable to wear jeans with holes and tattered sweaters that looked as though you lived in a house of moths. Probably the biggest perk, in my mind, was the fact that I could get away with baggy clothing. This was definitely a relief to me, as I wasn’t exactly comfortable with my body – but what teenage girl is?!
In observing the girls in my neighbourhood, I find myself wondering why a young girl would want to wear shorts that inevidentably ride up her ass and subsequently have her tugging them down every few minutes. It is shameful to me that girls are offered this false sense of confidence when they are so obviously struggling to feel comfortable in their own bodies.
It wasn’t really until I went away to university that I saw how empowering fashion could be for a young woman, especially when your clothing borders on “slutty”. The most provacative thing I wore in high school was a tank top, which I would sometimes be instructed by my dad to change out of because he felt it was too revealing.
In many ways, I feel very fortunate to have grown up in the decade that I did. That’s not to say that I didn’t feel pressure to dress a certain way or to have designer clothes because I was definitely conscious of what I wore and how that defined me. However, reflecting on it now, in comparison to perhaps this generation of teens, I at least had the luxury of wearing outfits that hid much of my “real” figure. Given that I had my own body image issues, I’m not sure that baggy clothes can be considered a solution, or even a perk. I believe most adolescent girls and most women for that matter, are insecure with their bodies, regardless of the clothing they’re expected to wear. It’s impossible to place blame on one particular cause, however, I think few would argue that it is a predominantly a female-specific issue.
In our society, the feminine body is a cite of constant criticism and “construction”. While the “ideal” female body type, slim and smooth, is a cleverly marketed “product”, it is also highly revered and rewarded. There is a heightened sense of empowerment and strength associated with this fictional, but nonetheless, idealized body image. Corporations have certainly capitalized on this notion that improvements can always be made the female body and thus, a woman’s body is a “work in progress”. Women are constantly being bombarded with new diets, new cosmetics, new surgical procedures, new exercise regimes, and new fashion trends that ultimately leave us feeling dissatisfied with our own bodies. A woman’s worth is directly reflective of the continual improvements she must make to her physical appearance. The reality is we live in an image obsessed culture and there is little encouragement for women to accept and love their bodies. Perhaps I am wrong, maybe these messages do exist but it seems to me they are greatly overpowered by the beauty industry’s persuasiveness and allure. It is a finely tuned system that hooks girls in when they are vulnerable and only beginning to development their sense of self. Indeed, companies rely heavily on youth culture, and girls especially, to carry fashion trends, fuel comsumption and increase revenues.
Being a girl today is definitely more challenging than it was 15 years ago. Our world is an increasingly chaotic place, driven primarily by capitalist values and consumer culture. Girls just happen to be an ideal target for exploitation. Many girls ride this wave because it appears to offer the greatest rewards.
I think many of us are guilty of judging teenage girls, believing them to be shallow, superficial and naive for their love of shopping and pop culture. I know I’m guilty of it. Yet, I need only think back to my own experiences with girlhood to recall those feelings of insecurity and the desire to feel confident in my skin. These girls are merely doing what they need to fit in; to feel important and empowered. Frankly, consumer society does an excellent job of engaging girls and convincing them that self-worth is really about presentation. Of course, I can’t help but feel discouraged by all of this, how can we possibly compete with forces that seem so much more influential than the muffled voices of individuals saying “love yourself as you are!” Even I can admit such messages seem laughable and way too idealistic given their opponent. It does sometimes seem like an impossible battle, but maybe we just underestimate the power of individuals. After all, self-worth is not something we are born with, it is developed gradually throughout our lives with our interactions and experiences. Many girls may play the only card they feel they have; their looks but perhaps we can offer them more if we, as individuals, seek to look beyond their bodies, clothing, hair, or make-up. Maybe, just maybe, investing in girls as people, as radical as it may seem to some, may actually give them a fighting chance of experiencing confidence and empowerment that can’t be bought on a sale rack…
Filed under: Consumer Culture, Feminine Power, Girl Culture, Pop Culture, Sex & Body
From “Chubbies” to “Plus”: Defining Girls’ Bodies
2 Comments »Apparently, these so-called “chubby” girls were supposed to overlook the fact that they were being called “chubbies” in lue of getting their free catalogue and “regular size” pricing?!!
Today, girls’ sizes are divided similarly; of course, replacing the word “chubby” with “plus”, albeit a more politically-correct term. Regular girl sizes include 7, 8, 10, 12, 14. Plus sizes are 8 ½, 10 ½, 12 ½, 14 ½. Surprisingly, the difference between these “regular” and “plus” sizes is a mere 1-2 inchs in the waist and hip measurements. Sadly, these slight variations are used to legitimize a need for a “plus” category for young girls. This is obviously a feature of women sizing charts, however, this use of “regular” and “plus” for girls is even more ridiculous given the fact that girls are in a stage of development. Interestingly, boys do not have a “plus” category, rather they have one sizing scale from 7 to 20.
The average teen girl wears a size 12 – 14, which means that the so-called “plus size” girl would actually share similar measurements to the majority of adolescent girls. What we may underestimate is the impact that these sizes have on how a teenage girl will evaluate herself by these sizing standards. For girls, the “regular” sizing scale measures how “thin” you are and the lower, the number the better. Despite the fact that a size 12 or 14 is average, being that size translates to mean that you are the largest of the “regular-size” girls, which is obviously not desirable. However, not fitting into the “regular” sizes at all, can be even more devastating for a girl. After all, no matter how it is worded – “chubby” or “plus” – this means you are “fat”.
Given that girls’ “regular” sizes are limited to five sizes and most girls wear the upper two; there is an obvious need to adjust this scale to reflect a continuum of body types. Having one sizing chart, may not have a huge impact on girls’ body image perceptions but it would at least save girls from being labelled “chubby/plus-size”; that is of course, until they make the transformation to women’s clothing.
Filed under: Consumer Culture, Sex & Body
“Little Sluts”
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The perception today is that teenage girls are becoming more promiscuous. News headlines warn of the high risks associated with girls’ early sexual activity. More girls are contracting STIs and the number of life-imitating-Hollywood (Juno) is also apparently on the rise. What is particularly telling however is that we do not see the same sort of panic surrounding boys’ sexuality or promiscuity. It’s as though the two have been completely disconnected from one other. Need we be reminded – it takes two to tango or in less subtle terms, it takes two, less a condom, to make a baby or itchy genitals.
Girls, supposedly mature faster, so perhaps its the obvious choice to hope that girls will get something out of abstinence programs or at least a safe sex lecture. The truth is, when educating girls about sex, we pull out every possible scare tactic to ensure that they remain virgins at least until they graduate high school. We train them on the bare essentials of understanding their bodies, perhaps intentionally, so that they remain ignorant to their sexual desires and urges. While a widely accepted aspect of male culture is that boys masturbate, girls do not…or at least, should not, if they wish to maintain any level of respectability. We can accept that boys, once they reach puberty, have sexual urges, but for girls, puberty means periods and procreation. They are not sexual subjects, but rather, submissive, sexualized objects.
Ask any parent with a teenage daughter and I guarantee their biggest fear is having her say; “I’m pregnant!”. To compensate, parents do the overprotective thing and prohibit dating, overnight visits, parties, or even school dances as long as they possibly can. The measures they use can be extreme; everything short of a chastity belt. Unfortunately, it seems the only way parents know how to react to their daughter’s “coming of age” is to shelter her and in turn, teach her that she is incapable of making healthy choices for herself, especially when it concerns her body. Admittedly, there is some truth in the assumption that girls need to be protected, but largely because we do not equip them with the necessary knowledge to take care of their bodies and thereby, nurture healthy sexuality.
Boys, on the other hand, are given much more leniency and freedom by way of their sexual experimentation and risk-taking behaviours – no doubt because their “screw ups” do not always have the same repercussions but also because, dare I say it?…We think boys to be less naive in the ways of the world and more capable of “handing” themselves in difficult situations. Frankly, I’m not quite sure where we get that idea from because, more often than not, at least in my adolescent experiences, boys were more often the instigators of trouble and it was often their girlfriends discouraging them or bailing them out. Without fail, every party I attended in high school ended with either a fight breaking out between two guys or an ambulance appearance due to the careless behaviour of one completely inebriated guy. How different a teenage girl’s life would be if boys were given earlier curfews and more rules so that the girls could stay out later without parents’ worrying. Of course, there is always the illicit rapist lurking in the woods nearby so that wouldn’t necessary work either…
Girls are not ignorant of the power imbalances that exist between them and boys. They are conscious of the double standards and this inequality of the sexes actually puts girls at greater risk of being exploited. Girls are not taught to be independent and assertive like their male counterparts…and yet, they bare the burden of huge responsibilities. When it comes to issues such as HPV or teen pregnancy, the onus is placed entirely on girls. These are girl-specific problems, despite the male role in them. What message does this send to boys?!?
The gender inequality of our world is not about to be solved by different parenting techniques (although this probably helps on an individual basis). This inequality extends beyond the family and school curriculums. It is deeply embedded in our history, our institutions, and our political and economic systems. Girls, especially those of minority status and economic disadvantage, are not made to feel worthy or important in our society. Girls mimic what limited role models they’re given and then we criticize them for being little sluts. Boys can be perverts, girls must be proper. Given the constraints we place on girls’ identities, and more specifically, their sexuality, how can we then expect them to assert themselves in any relationship – let alone a sexual one? How can they make important choices concerning sex, when we do not empower them with confidence and respect but instead bombard them with repressive rules and cautionary tales of wayward femininity? Is it really any wonder that in our oppressive attempts at “saving” girls from themselves, we actually cause them to look for their worth and self-assurance elsewhere…like in their relationships with boys?
Filed under: Boyfriends, Feminine Power, Girl Culture, Sex & Body
A Modern Day Witch Hunt
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Throughout history there have been many types of female “villains”, those who did not fit the mould of what “proper” women do, such as witches, prostitutes, mid-wives, gypsies, and even lesbians. All of these women were persecuted or ostracized largely because they were misunderstood. In an attempt to preserve women’s traditional ties to innocence, dependence and reproduction, women who challenged these ideals were used as scapegoats and cast as examples of what “bad” femininity looks like. While the times of drowning and burning witches are over, the effects of our misogynistic past have not escaped us. Yet, it seems we are under the misguided notion that gender equality was achieved when women took to burning their bras in the streets.
While we have triumphed in our fight for equal rights, we have failed to broaden our scope of womanhood or relinquish our hold on traditional femininity. Even in the 21st century, we insist on identifying “bad women”. Our obsession with the female villain still thrives. Most recently, our attention has fallen onto “mean girls”, of which their ruthless tactics of contempt and deceit, shock and disturb us; largely because we expect girls to maintain a sweet and amicable demeanor. Needless to say, the consequences of being labelled “mean” are not quite as severe as being accused of heresy, however, there are still parallels to made between the two.
Most of us have bought into the propaganda about “meanness” in the same way that people reacted to the witch hunts. In either case, there is no attempt to understand the behaviour but rather the knee-jerk reaction is to demonize it. The presence of witches threatened Christian morals and values just as meanness has impeded on our ideologies about femininity and how women and girls should conduct themselves. The underlying message relayed to the public is that these “social outcasts” are in fact, subhuman beings that are not worthy of sympathy or understanding. Instead, we are lead to believe that there is something inherently evil about them.
Even though we have abolished arbitrary laws that would favor us burning “mean girls” at the stake, this has not stopped us from making a spectacle of the so-called “meanness” phenomenon. If anything, this public outcry concerning “mean girls” has actually set us back immensely in our progress as women, as it has succeeded in limiting girls’ identities to one of two categories: “the mean girl” and her helpless, victim.
Sadly, much like Christian Reformists were partial to seeing witches as evil-doers rather than remnants of a dying pagan religion; the modern day “mean girl” hunt urges us to see only the supposed horror of backstabbing and gossip, rather than the social context in which this behaviour occurs.
Girlhood is no walk in the park, especially in our rapidly changing world, yet, given this, why have we prohibited girls from evolving beyond the Victorian era? Instead of equipping them with the tools they need to cope with current social pressures and peer conflicts, we teach them lessons in beauty and discount their brains. They are expected to make friends, not enemies (despite the fact that boys and men have plenty). Most importantly, they must bite their tongue and avoid confrontation at all cost. Consequently, their relationships become outlets for their frustration and anger.
While it may appear as though we want girls and women move forward as active and equal members of society and leave behind a history of oppression, this will not occur if we remain intolerant of female behaviour that deviates from tradition. We criticize women’s use of “meanness” to advance socially, politically or economically, while the cut-throat mentality of businessmen is continually accepted and even praised. Surely if we wish girls to compete with the “big boys” so to speak, shouldn’t we stop chasing them with torches and offer them more than make-up tips and fashion advice?
Filed under: Female Violence & Aggression, Feminine Power, Gender Roles, Meanness
What do your shoes say about you?
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I recently discovered the Goliath to my “David-like” blog about girls – Cosmogirl.com. Ok, so I can’t exactly pin the increasing commercialization of girl culture on them entirely, but they definitely are not helping the matter! The content of their website consists of the following categories: horoscopes, beauty, fashion, guys, entertainment, fun & games and finally, “life advice”; all of which provide girls with tips on improving their appearance with the right make-up, accessories and fashion trends; techniques for attracting a boyfriend; not to mention tons of celebrity gossip.
Upon my first perusal, the only sub-category that seemed to hold any substance was “life at college”. I clicked on it, hoping to find something encouraging but instead, I find more fluff; articles entitled: “A fashionable essay: Tips that will send you straight from your favorite store to your first choice collage” or “Both or None: Is life better with boys at school or without”. It literally sends chills down my spine.
Filed under almost every category are “quizzes”, covering a wide variety of topics, with the same reoccurring objectives. First and foremost, reinforce the importance of image (achieved via beauty and fashion advice); provide girls with tips on obtaining and maintaining a boyfriend (achieved through romanticized stories of heterosexual relationships); generate neat, little categories in which girls’ identities become generic and generalizable; and lastly, find a way to plug the latest pop culture trend in the quiz results.
All this being said, I couldn’t resist the temptation to complete one of these quizzes myself. So I choose the first one that popped up on the homepage – “what do your shoes say about you?” Based on my responses, this is what my choice of footwear says about me:
Style Savvy
You’ll try anything once! This applies to your footwear and your life. You know what you like, for instance, a wedge in the summer and some kitten heels in the winter, but are also willing to try something more daring when called for. Loving the spiked boot trend? You’re already hitting the mall for a new pair. If it doesn’t work out, you know you’ll always have your go-to-shoe styles to fall back on.
Ok…so, as women and girls, we are what we wear on our feet?…C’mon!!
Some may argue that these quizzes are just for fun and girls don’t really take the results seriously. I say, ignorance is bliss.
With the emergence of girl brands such as “cosmogirl” and “la senza girl”, marketing companies have managed to create an entirely new and powerful group of consumers – the tween girl. Advertising campaigns once aimed at selling beauty and fashion products specifically to women have widened their scope to girls. Can we assume this has little effect on girls’ development? One thing is for certain, we should not underestimate the influence of consumer society – after all, consumption is essentially what drives our capitalist economy and keeps Western society a float. Girls are an essential pawn in this game.
Granted, not every girl is going to fall under the influence of “cosmogirl.com”. Some girls succeed in escaping girlhood relatively unscathed by societal pressures. Assumably, these girls were taught to see beyond the superficial. As impressionable as young girls can be, they do have agency. Unfortunately, the majority of girls are not necessarily encouraged to use this agency to question the merit of owning a pair of “spiked boots”. Instead, they are lead to believe that such items define them and shape their identity. The counter-rebuttal to this, which is so often disregarded, is that the quest for self-discovery is not as simple as putting on some “wedge heeled shoes”. Indeed, there are women who need this reality check just as much as girls. Yes, I love shoes as much as the next woman, but in our image-obsessed culture, there comes a point in which what we wear begins to overshadow who we really are.
While it is easy to get caught up in what our shoes say about us, the real question is, “why would we even want our shoes to do the talking for us!?”
Filed under: Boyfriends, Consumer Culture, Girl Culture, Pop Culture/Entertainment, Teen Magazines